


Thinning for Love

by OnlyLonely4Life



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anorexia, Anorexic Yuri Katsuki, Bottom Katsuki Yuuri, Caring Victor Nikiforov, Eating Disorders, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Other, Protective Victor Nikiforov, Rough Sex, Slow Build, Suicidal Thoughts, Top Victor Nikiforov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-07-19
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-12-04 02:37:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11545716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OnlyLonely4Life/pseuds/OnlyLonely4Life
Summary: Yuuri Katsuki has had many problems with his weight but what happens when it gets taken to the extreme? Convinced he's still the fatty he once was, he tries everything to lose weight all the while focusing on skating and getting Victor's attention in more ways than one. No human can handle pressure and stress like that without snapping. Yuuri's ultimately a ticking time bomb that's just waiting to explode. The biggest question is, When will it happen?This story contains strong themes of Anorexia and suicidal tendencies. Read at your own risk.





	Thinning for Love

Eat healthy and practice until you dropped dead. This is how Yuuri Katsuki, a professional figure skater, trained for his competitions. He practically worshiped this sacred practice of his. Of course, he was very intelligent and well aware of his surroundings far more than people gave him credit for. He knew that if he didn’t watch whether he was eating enough or pushing himself too much, it could go bad quickly. That’s what happened to most. They took things to the extreme.

He was constantly around other figure skaters that had their share of problems that no one seemed to address. It was a common knowledge that skaters were most likely to develop an eating disorder. In his high school experience, he ended up having to do an essay on it considering the theme was mental health. Because of this, he became very aware of the effects it had and the toll it could not only take on your body but mind as well. It was the very reason that he always made sure that he ate enough calories and that each plate of food would always contain all the nutrients he needed.

It came to the point that he enjoyed reading about such subjects. Not because he wanted to do these terrible self torture methods but because he wanted to stay away from it. He loved the joy he received from healthy eating and exercise. It came to the point that he was a health nut. Due to this he was always in great condition which was a good thing considering his occupation. Not once throughout all of this did he think he’d ever let himself go or decide that it would be a good thing if he ate less. At least he didn’t until after he competed and came in the last in the Grand Prix Finals where Victor Nikiforov, his long time idol, competed against him. Needless to say, that was one of the biggest downfalls in his career and life.

Considering the current events that happened, he did what most would and drank until he was drunk which resulted in some pretty embarrassing statements and indecent acts. The only problem with being drunk is that it can cause the human body to crave food. Specifically carb heavy food. In the haze of blackness and intoxication, Yuuri had grabbed nearly every plate he could find which consisted of cake, bread, pastries, etc. In the very back of his mind he knew that he would regret it but his current state didn’t care. It craved every carb he could get his hands on. If anything. It wasn’t the bad skating that would leave to his downfall. He could always train and fix any mistakes. It was something that was far more malicious. Something so incredibly hard to change. Something called self-image.

It was only a couple weeks later and he was noticing a little pudge. He decided to take a small break from exercise but still did a light jog every morning. The only problem was that he couldn't stop eating. He told himself every day that he would go back on his diet but it usually resulted in him binging on food nearly everyday. He ended up gaining a few pounds but it wasn’t necessarily something that he was too concerned over. It was just a few pounds and it was his off season. He didn’t see it as big deal and simply carried on with how things were. 

Eventually that small problem got just a little bit bigger, and bigger, and eventually turned into a huge one. He went from healthy and fit to overweight and ready for a heart attack. He didn’t just see himself as a little overweight either. He saw himself as severely obese. He was so ashamed that he refused to let anyone see. Not even his roommate and closest friend, Phichit. Only heaven already knows how many times he’s already had to see Yuuri stuff his face with fatty and processed foods. But that didn’t stop Yuuri at all. The only thing that changed was the fact that he did it in the privacy of his own room.

Even as time moved on, his habits never changed. Everyday he promised himself he would change but he could never find himself having enough willpower to follow through with it. The number on the scale only grew bigger and his self-esteem smaller. It got to the point where he had to leave to Japan from The States but was nearly stopped just because of the embarrassment he knew he would endure. It took his mom and Phichit to coax him into going. What would he do? The last time they saw him, he was in the best shape he could be but now all he sees is an oversized piece of fleshy fat and blubber. He didn’t even own any shirts that fit him properly and there was no way he would let anyone know that. 

Grabbing every layer of clothing that he could possibly find, he began to dress himself. Sneakers, sweatpants, oversized hoodies, etc. He hid himself in a giant ball of clothing that he thought hid his fat but ended up making himself look even bigger than he did before. He knew the excess layers of clothing raised some eyebrows but he had no better plan. You couldn’t hide fat but you could definitely cover it.

Without a doubt, he got some strange stares as he arrive at the airport. Simply ignoring them, he walked over to security in order to board his plane. A friendly blonde woman happily greeted him as she looked him up and down. He could feel it. He could feel her judgmental stare as she continued to act as if everything is normal.

“Sir?” She spoke. “Is there anyway you remove a could excess layers of clothing on your personnel? It makes it easier to scan you and if something’s wrong, we’ll have an easier time detecting the problem.”

Yuuri was practically dying of embarrassment. Why did this have to happen to him? “Is there anyway I can go without doing that?” He asked shyly.

“Well, yes but it’ll be difficult and we strongly advise that you remove the excess so it’ll be less of a hassle for you.”

Hesitantly, he began to remove two of the three hoodies he bundled up in along with his scarf. Placing it on the conveyor belt, he felt it. He felt the burning of his skin. The pain that raked across his body. The judgment that suffocated him. He tried to block it out as much as he could but it was still there. Still taunting him. Walking through the scanner as quickly as he could, he grabbed his stuff and instantly put on his protective layers. It made him feel secure but he still knew they were staring, He didn’t even have to look. He could already feel their gaze burning into him and carving on his flesh.

The flight wasn’t much better either. He was paranoid the entire time. It was as if everyone was fixated on him and how he looked. He honestly tried to make himself seem as small as possible. He even went as far as to make sure not to even touch the seat next to him during the long and tiring flight. It was far from a pleasant ride and he was more than happy to get off the crowded and stuffy plane. He automatically knew that he regretted his decision as soon as he reached the airport in Japan. In America he was already considered overweight but in Japan, he was obese. 

Everything went in a blur as soon as he arrived at the station and got on his train, he was already getting off in Hasetsu. Removing his mask, he took in the sight and breathed in the fresh air. Something that he couldn’t get in the crowded cities of The United States. He was shocked when he turned around only to see pictures of himself. Pictures from when he was fit and everyone seemed to believe in him. Five years since he was last in Hasetsu and this is what he was greeted with. 

“Yuuri!” A woman’s voice greeted from behind him. He was instantly panicked, already knowing who it was.

“Minako-sensei?!” He replied in surprise. Turning around, he was met with the sight of her holding a banner that had his very own name on it, ‘Yuuri Katsuki’. How is it that she knew he was coming? He never mentioned anything to her or anyone aside from his family. Snapped out of his thoughts, he could hear people whispering. Whispering about his loss. About his weight gain. About their pity for him.

Grabbing his hand, she dragged him along with her. Not even a couple of minutes and he could already feel himself begin to pant and sweat at her pace. He could automatically tell that he was far too out of shape but refused to complain about it. It’s his fault anyway for turning into this. As soon as they had made it to the Onsen, he was greeted by his more than welcoming mother.

“Yuuri!” She exclaimed. “It’s been so long since I’ve last seen you.”

“Sorry…” He quietly murmured. “ I would have been back sooner but I was busy with training.”

“That’s okay. Are you hungry? Do you want anything to eat? How about Katsudon? I know it’s your favorite!”

That’s when everything clicked into place and the entire hot spring went into chaos as Minako looked directly at Yuuri.

“Yuuri?” Minako spoke. “ I was wondering this earlier but what’s going on with you? Specifically that gut of yours. You’re wearing so many clothes after all. It’s hard to tell.”

“Uh…” Yuuri nervously started to laugh as he began to slowly back away. Of course, he didn’t get very far before she pulled him right back.

“Take off your jacket show me!”

“No!” His words didn’t matter seeing how she was already ripping each article of clothing off of him. “What are you doing?!” 

A scream was ripped from her body as she laid eyes on him, having stripped him to a single sweatshirt and sweatpants. He could already feel the guilt and embarrassment consuming him as the scene played out before him.

“This is not the weight a figure skater should have! What have you done to yourself!? You just ruined your career!”

That one seemed to have just got him perfectly and he’d be lying if he said it didn’t sting.  
“That reminds me. Why don’t you go say Hi to Vicchan?” His mother offered, seeming to have sensed his stress.

“Good Idea” Yuuri quietly spoke before stalking off. Letting out a sigh, he opened the door that led to the room of his precious childhood friend.

He found his place on the ground as he was face to face with the picture of his dog. His eyes became glossy as small pools began to form, fogging up his glasses. Letting out a shaky breath, he began to find the courage in himself to speak.

“I’m sorry that I could visit you one last time but things have been so hard. It’s just been so hard…” He began to sob. Tear after tear escaped as he gasped to catch his breath. “I don’t even have you anymore and now I’m like this. I don’t know what to do at this point. What do I do? I’m so lost…”


End file.
